Today was a standard Monday. The big difference was that Leo's Mum was up and out early, headed to Frankfurt for work. She'll be away for the night and this will be the first full night on my own with Leo.
Leo and I got up and set about the routine. Today instead of a bottle I tried to give him some porridge. Its not all together successful, he did however manage about half a banana and fell asleep pretty sharpish afterwards.
My plan was to give him a bottle as soon as he stirred and he'd fall back to sleep. As usual my nap manipulation totally failed. He woke up after 20 minutes and was not ready to go back to sleep. We headed out for a slow meander to swimming, I thought he'd sleep en route in the buggy. He didn't. Tired, I drank a bad coffee and ate a huge sweet cake which I immediately regretted. Normally I would have chosen a place for a snack I liked the look of, today I chose it because I could wheel the chair in, not disturb Leo too much and stand up at the counter to drink my coffee. If he was not going to sleep he could at least rest.
At swimming Leo was again spared the dunking. I decided he could wait till after swimming for his bottle. It sort of worked, he was happy through out swimming, but as soon as we left the water he realised how hungry he was and hit the panic button.
Spoke to a couple of the parents today, getting there early was nice and made it a little more social. For Leo too, he played around with two of the kids before we went into the pool. They were both eight months old and able to do a lot more tricks. They were also no bigger than him!
Not much else to report. In theory tonight is like every other week night. I'll put Leo to bed and do all the feeds during the night. In practice having his Mum around is really great, just to know if something goes wrong there is someone to discuss it with.
Reading back on some of these posts, which are written quickly as a summary at the end of the day, I'm struck at how focused on routine and process they are. There isn't much about how Leo is feeling, how I'm feeling, what new things Leo has learnt to do etc and that was really the point. This exists as a diary for myself (and maybe Leo) to read back through and remember or understand what it was like. So here is a little more than normal and I'll try to add more in the future posts.
I'm extremely happy I'm doing this. Its exhausting in a way that I didn't understand before, its a totally different tiredness and stress. I've worked under extreme deadline pressure, I've presented and lectured to large audiences and I've worked long hours months after month. Those work pressure are something most of us have experienced, but the stress and pressure of raising a baby comes from the relentlessness of it. You are completely beholden to the whim and mood of another person, whom if you don't attend to will suffer. Usually the moments you need to sit down for some peace are the moments he does something annoying. As a parent, the thing I miss the most isn't going out partying, its the mundane things. I miss having coffee in bed in the morning reading a little news and a lot of crap on Facebook. I miss being able to go out for a run at anytime I please. Limmy talked a little about it on RHLSTP this week, while on tour he doesn't visit the sights, he sits in and watches Columbo on the telly because with a kid at home he can't do that anymore. I get that.
However, the perks and the rewards massively out weigh the drawbacks. Making your kid smile and laugh does something to you chemically. Its unbelievably heart warming. The satisfaction of seeing the incredibly quick progression they make and being able to literally shape it day by day is a unique experience. Emotionally this is far more gratifying than work has ever been for me.
On Leo's side. He remains a very sweet and happy little man. He's totally engaged and fascinated by the world around him. He's very sociable and wants human interaction all the time. He has recently decided that day time naps are not for him, which is massively self destructive. He's often getting tired and angry.
He has an incredibly annoying habit of pulling the dummy out of his mouth as he's falling asleep, which causes him to immediately wake up and scream. He's not quite crawling yet, he seems to have all the movements and he seems to be getting stronger each day so I don't think it will be long. He's starting to use his voice quite a bit, mostly when he's mad or hungry. He's saying Mamamamama a lot. I would say thats just easy sounds and not a cry for Mum to come back. At least I hope it is.